Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Sigh of Relief

Straight to the point… the gal who did my ultrasound (a very sweet woman, by the way) said that while she felt something there it seemed to her just normal ropy breast tissue, and the fact that it has “developed” since my last period did not mean it was bad, or cancer, etc, etc. And she did the ultrasound, and it showed nothing abnormal. She encouraged me to make a map of my breasts, documenting size, shape and texture of these various lumps and bumps as they show themselves, and then in each month of self breast exams I can compare and contrast, and just watch for any dramatic increases.

So here is the thing, for all that they reassured me, that fear, that ghost of the past, it just keeps haunting me. It feels like, “I am fine, for now.” But behind every door, there can be that spooky feeling. And I know that the fear has nothing to do with fact, because really I am fine, and with each passing year… finer. But fear is so slippery. And pervasive. And heavy.

But for today, just for today, everything is right in the world (well in my world anyway). And that is all I need to know. And really, isn’t that all any of us can ever know on any day?

Here is hoping that your day is filled with joy and wonder and blessed peace.


At 7:09 AM PDT, Blogger Simon said...

Just made my day! Great news Signy.

At 9:39 AM PDT, Blogger signy.wilson said...

Simon, hello my friend. Thanks for tracking and for commenting and for caring. That makes my day!

At 12:57 PM PDT, Blogger signy.wilson said...

Hey, Simon, I just heard (through Anne) that you saw Marianne Williamson and she struck you as Signy in 15 years, a powerhouse firecracker. Thank you for that most excellent compliment. I will take it, run with it, and work on it.

At 2:10 PM PDT, Blogger anne said...

Ok gorgeous girl! Now that I am named on the site anyway, thought I may as well log on officially and add my voice to all your fans. I have been both humbled and deeply touched by your courage and grace. I knew instinctively during our weekend together that you possessed a very special kind of fire... little could I imagine it was such a roaring fire!!!LOL
Through your website and your blog,I am discovering how powerful you really are and you make me believe anything is possible. I so look forward to working with you and consider my self blessed to have had you come across my path.
God bless you little lioness!:)

At 6:16 PM PDT, Blogger Simon said...

LOL - The coaching network is a faster form of communication than Mothers were when I was a kid. ;)
Yes, it is true. Watching Marianne coach in front of 2000 people brought Signy to the front of my mind. One clarification - you may be Marianne chronologically in about 15 years, but you got the powerhouse firecracker thing going on in 07!

At 4:59 PM PDT, Blogger Signy said...

Ahew, I just feel so good getting to read all this love. And today I kind of need it. Like all of us, I occasionally forget my power and my calling and what I offer. So thank you so much for reminding me and being my cheerleading squad.


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