Sigh of Relief

Straight to the point… the gal who did my ultrasound (a very sweet woman, by the way) said that while she felt something there it seemed to her just normal ropy breast tissue, and the fact that it has “developed” since my last period did not mean it was bad, or cancer, etc, etc. And she did the ultrasound, and it showed nothing abnormal. She encouraged me to make a map of my breasts, documenting size, shape and texture of these various lumps and bumps as they show themselves, and then in each month of self breast exams I can compare and contrast, and just watch for any dramatic increases.

So here is the thing, for all that they reassured me, that fear, that ghost of the past, it just keeps haunting me. It feels like, “I am fine, for now.” But behind every door, there can be that spooky feeling. And I know that the fear has nothing to do with fact, because really I am fine, and with each passing year… finer. But fear is so slippery. And pervasive. And heavy.

But for today, just for today, everything is right in the world (well in my world anyway). And that is all I need to know. And really, isn’t that all any of us can ever know on any day?

Here is hoping that your day is filled with joy and wonder and blessed peace.