To Eat Organic or Not to Eat Organic

There should be no question. Obviously, in general, organic is better. Both because it produces a food that is better for our bodies because our bodies don’t have to fight off the ill effects of the pesticides etc (let’s face it, we are a bit of a pest on the planet ourselves, what makes you think humans are immune to the killing substances), and better for the earth, because she doesn’t have to work so hard to stay in balance or to recover from the damage done through land stripping and/or toxifying types of farming (damn, was that ever one long sentence!). So yes, when you can, shoot for organic. And there are some foods that it is more important for than others. Doing a bit of research in this area can help you to decide where to spend your organic dollar.

Here are a couple of examples:

Strawberries. You want ‘em organic. Here is the theory behind it. These little fellas are like sponges. So even if you wash them and wash them and keep washing them, the pesticide is inside, way inside. It got in a long time ago and you can’t get it out. So if they are not organic, well, just leave them alone!

Avocados on the other hand grow from such a robust and naturally healthy plant that by and large growers do not need to spray their crops to keep them healthy, happy and safe. So usually even the not organic avocados are fine. By the way, just a happy little plug for these power packed friends, when I was in chemo I had a friend of the family (who is a nurse) make me promise that I would eat one avocado a day. Yes they are full of fat, but good fat, and they are also full of so many nutrients and other good stuff that, well, they were just what the nurse ordered. Besides for me, with the possibility of loosing ground on the weight front during chemo, I wanted to be consuming lots of high quality calories. Bring them on!

Here is another “must go organic” choice. Wine. Why? Because when your average vineyard is growing their grapes they spray the crop (with, by the way, are very high in artificial estrogen pesticide, can you say Breast Cancer?) when the grapes are just little and wee, and then when they grow it gets really hard to get rid of the pesticide just by an easy little rinse, because it is all in the nooks and crannies. Not that they wash the grapes before they throw them in a vat, squish them around and let them ferment, oh no, they get to soak in their own juices along with all the nasty, dangerous, toxic sludge. How pleasant. How tasty. And guess what? Apparently (I say apparently because while I have heard it said repeatedly I haven’t done the research myself and so don’t feel that I ought to quote it like an absolute fact – not that that has stopped me on other occasions or with other topics, but just for today…) just north of San Francisco, in Sonoma and Napa county, you know, wine grape growing country, is the highest per capita instance of breast cancer diagnosis. Ouch. Now I don’t know if these things are related, but I wouldn’t take the chance of messing with it (like I did say with birth control pills, don’t get me started with the new one that can keep you from bleeding for YEARS, how is that suppose to be a good and honourable solution, where is the respect for our bodies in that – but more on that in a few days). Besides it has been said that wine and booze in general is something to be avoided, if like me, you have had breast cancer (not sure how or if it has an impact on other cancers). So if you must wine, stick with organic.

Cancer As Teacher

Cancer has a way of making you/me/people tune into the subtle undercurrent that is what life is really all about. Through cancer, one’s own or a loved one's, there is a shaking up of the status quo so that we notice the lessons that we needed to pay attention to all along. It has a “wake up and put away your ego score keeping and feeling entitled” kind of energy. It is about noticing or learning who you really are, and expressing that in the world. It is about coming to listen to and follow the still small voice. It is about inspiring self-care and self-discovery, in the face of the never-ending demands of others and of the world. It is about respecting others, and ourselves to the best of our ability. It is about remembering how important we are and simultaneously how insignificant we are. It is about loving and accepting ourselves just as we are. It is about letting life be life. Or, as we say in program, accepting life on life’s terms.

There is no particular reason why I am writing this. It is not like I have had any new recent bad news, but rather I just find myself in a reflective state following such a significant change of the year like Solstice (hmm, which I guess means we now find ourselves in the astrological season of cancer). Cancer has been a gift to be in so many crucial ways. And it is hard to explain it in a way that doesn’t sound like rationalization or trying to put a positive spin on things. But beyond the obvious fact that it was a huge life changer, it was also a gracious blessing. It is not a subtle wake up call, rather quite the slap to the face, but because of that I think lots of people can overlook the subtle lessons. Now that might also be because they are just your standard life lessons, the things we need to face and discovery and claim as part of our journey here regardless of who our teachers are. But part of cancer’s power is it’s force, it’s magnitude and it’s trajectory. There is no mistaking the need for change, there is no pretending it didn’t happen (unless you want to see it’s scary face rise again – cut to Jack Nickleson’s famous scene from the Shining, “I’m baaaacccckkkkkkk.”), there is no fighting back without having to fight for your WHOLE life. I see all those things as good (which I guess is a lot easier to say when you are on this end of it all). Snooze buttons are over rated. If it is time to change, and you are being so strongly called, well then it is time to change.

Make no mistake, cancer is a brutal teacher (so if there is another way to learn the lessons so you can skip cancer, I am all for that!), but it is also a loving teacher, a concerned teaching, a committed teacher, if you choose to see it that way. And seeing it that way changes everything.

Having Some Feelings

Ok, I am starting to feel like a leper. Each time I go down to the US border with the desire to “do the right thing” and get myself a TN-1 Visa, well, I get denied. Trice in a row. With all the exact same paper work as others who do get through (except for I hauled my two large, framed degrees, and since the others went onto a plane, I suspect they did not do that) with the very same lawyer crafted documents, and for the love of Jesus, I even drove all the way out to Cloverdale so I could go to crossing that has “nice” guards. ARRRRGGGGGHHHHH! It is cold comfort as people try to console me with “why would you want to go to the States anyway”.

It is a funny moment that one where you go up there and chat with the border guard. It is one of those “it’s all you” moments, even if you bring a friend, it is about you saying the right or wrong thing, looking the right or wrong way. You can’t have a little huddle with your friend and come up with the cunning answer, you can’t check your cheat sheet so you know what they are looking for. It is a make or brake situation, and it is a bit lonely. It is a task that no one can do for you. I suspect there is a range of such tasks. Where the primary feeling is fear, with liberal doses of uncertainty. That even if someone comes with you, supports you, loves you up while you are doing the hard thing, well, it still all comes down to you. I am betting childbirth is like this. And I know chemotherapy is like this. Even with two loving, caring, supportive dear friends and a nurse that rocks the house, it is my vein they put the needle into, my blood that gets diluted (and perhaps deluded). My fear, by body, my life. So somehow there always comes across me a piercing ache that I can only assume is loneliness – it is as if I fully realize that I have to face the world alone on this one.

And I think that is the real point, and learning, that it is not so much the about the task that needs to be done, as the feeling it brings up, and then the attitude we approach that with. I mean lets face it; it is not like we don’t do the thing just because we have the feeling, right? Lots of babies get born in spite of what must be a great deal of anxiety and pain. But here is the thing, I want there to be room to have the feeling even though the task will get done. Space for the process as well as the outcome. Would birth be as miraculous if we could do it as easily as sneezing? (I am sure I have a few mother friends right now who are saying, “You better believe it would be!! Give me a sneeze any day.” – which could result in even more over population, I might point out). So I guess I am saying yes, and yay, to the feelings. In fact it is my feelings and letting myself fully experience them that is the source of my centered power, and sense of connection, to myself, to other and to my source. So what does the weathervane read on my feelings today? Quite pissed off and still some jet lag leftovers on the loneliness.

Where are you at? And how much voice are you giving it?

Tips on Listening to Your Gut

Someone specifically asked me to talk about this topic, and I thought, “Hey, why not write about it?” There is tons to say about this, probably because listening to our own gut, our own instinct, well it is as unique as the person doing it, so the ways to do it and the possible tips are limitless. And so, I am hoping that some folks chime in with their own comments on what has worked for them.

Listening to your gut starts with knowing yourself. Knowing your own signals about when you are overwhelmed, when you are upset, what you need to do. It mostly comes with time and paying focused attention. Without that self-exploration, well it is just hard to know which way is up. Another invaluable tool is gentleness. As we get to know ourselves, and we see some of the bad habits we have, as well as the ways we abandon ourselves, well, we need to make room for our own humanity and the fact that changing our habits takes time and we don’t do things perfectly.

I suspect most people talk about wanting to listen to their gut because they are hitting a rough place in their lives. Maybe they need to set a boundary, with someone else or with themselves. Maybe they need to be more assertive in a certain area. Maybe they need to up their self-care. But the bottom line is they want something to be different, they want change. So one valuable tool is knowing how you want your life or the situation to look different. Out of that can come discovering what the little steps toward that change are. Really listening to our gut is about slowing catching the offending behaviour, and subsequent reaction in ourselves, sooner and sooner, so eventually we notice, just by the way our breathing has changed, or our stomach feels queasy (whatever each individual person’s signal is, which again, only comes from paying attention and listening long enough to know ourselves), that something is off. And than we need to try a different behaviour than the ones we have tried before that have presumably not worked. And, since there is risk in that it can be a bit scary. We can fall into the trap of “better the devil you know” and stick with doing what is comfortable because it is familiar. We have to be willing to try something new, willing to piss people off and make a mistake, willing to listen to ourselves first, and not try to push away what we are feeling. Do that enough times, and it will start being easier.

So that is a nice idea, great theoretical thoughts, but how does it actually show up, what does it look like day to day and how do we get there, how do we do it? For me, and using cancer as a handy example, when I went to see the first surgeon that I as assigned (is that the right word? Never mind) I did not like her; every fiber of my body screamed NO!!!!! Some “still small voice” I have, yes? But did I listen, no. Instead I tried to make myself like her, I tried to rationalize it (all surgeons have crappy bedside manners, their patients are unconscious), I tried to suck it up. Just so happens for me overriding my gut feeling has become harder and harder the more work I have done on myself. I wasn’t capable of ignoring it, try as I might, for the sake of convenience (nasty four letter word that that is). And yes, part of the cancer (and perhaps any health) journey is about learning to listen to ourselves and our own truth, but still, it is a process. And while this is an extreme example, it just makes what is already true easier to see because it is so obvious. Getting to know how our still small voice shows up, recognizing it when it does come and respecting it by listening and trying those some behaviours, well that will set us free. Eventually.

Other little pointers:

• When you do notice that you are upset about something, track the discomfort back to its source, then look at process that got you to the escalated, upset place. Knowing the journey will make it easier to catch it quicker on the road.

• Take a look at why you resist making the change. For instance, if you are struggling with setting a boundary: why are you afraid to, what do you think might happen if you do so. Eventually this line of thought can lead you to notice what we in the 12 step programs call “the exact nature of our wrongs”, which translates to seeing what is really at the core of your behaviour. This helps you to start changing the behaviour.

Again, there are so many ways to play with this idea… so please pipe in if you have an experience you want to share or ideas about what you have tried and has worked well. Together we will create a road map containing some things to start trying.

So Sorry for Apologizing

There is this thing I do, actually I guess that most people do it, somewhere in their life, but I am keeping the focus on me, so I will tell you my story and my lesson and then you can decide if it does or not does not ring true for your life and then what you want to do about it (if anything). So back to this thing that I do. I apologize for stuff. Not actually verbally apologizing (turns out I am relatively challenged in that area) but more energetically. It is like I am begging your forgiveness for something that you probably don’t even know I am doing or thinking or believing. It is a weird and crazy thing. I believe that it is tied to shame. I feel shame about something about myself, I feel like it must be something that you don’t want to hear or know about, or something to hide, and so energetically I drip with “sorry”, either when I talk about it, or in trying to not talk about it.

Here is the irony about that, in my work at the university career center a young international student had an appointment with me. In that appointment he told me about a job interview he had, and how during the interview he meekly said, “Well, I am an international student, so you will have to do a whole bunch of things to get me a visa.” I am not capturing it here in the words because really it was more in the intonation and the way he hung his head even as he said it to me… he was saying I am so sorry that I am an international student. Sorry to be a bother, sorry to create a hassle for you. Sorry. Well I pulled him up short and I said, in no uncertain terms “You have got to stop apologizing for being an international student!!!!! It is not a bad thing. And you are not a problem. And you are so worth whatever little bit of paper work they have to do in order to get to hire you.” He got it immediately, it is not that he actually ever said sorry, but he held it in his space, in his very essence. It is an energy. Not even a couple of weeks later he had secured a job, and he told me he had changed his attitude as I had suggested, and he had done his research, knew exactly the paperwork they needed to do and how to do that the easiest way, and offered to help them with it. He had minimized his perceived liability. But more importantly, he had changed his attitude about himself. A fun follow up to this particular story is that a few weeks after he got the job he was speaking at an event for international students, and he powerfully, emphatically and convincingly said to them… “Do not apologize for being international students!!!” Boy I love when the message ripples out, yes?

Anyway, back to me, and why that story is ironic. I do this very thing I was calling him on doing. I have shame, not even, I feel that there is something wrong about me, something I am suppose to hide or feel contrite about or ask for forgiveness for, and I carry it around like a stone. But until I release myself (and I really am the only one who can release me), absolve myself, let it go, then I continue to torture myself with it, and try to hide it like a nasty little secret. And since I keep it as a secret I am not usually even aware myself that I am doing it (much like my international friend) until someone else sees it and calls me on it. Here is my easy and present day example (although I am sure there are many more places…) as I start to venture into the dating realm I feel awkward telling people I have had cancer, like it should be kept secret, like it is something to be ashamed of, like it is something that requires forgiveness. And if I had a counselor who was speaking to me about this I am sure they would tell me “You do not need to apologize for being a cancer survivor!!!! It is not a bad thing. You are not a problem. In fact, it makes you a more powerful, focused, aware, determined human being than you even were before. Wear it like a badge of honour!” And even as I say it to myself it feels right. And so for me and for you, and for all the places we feel broken or like we should seek absolution or cover up and hide: love them, heal them, and flaunt them. You are a perfect, beautiful, miraculous human being. Celebrate yourself instead of apologizing!

Giving Feedback

So the other day I got some feedback on my blogging/writing. My friend said, “I don’t write comments on your blog because, well, you have said it all. You have gotten to the point and made it powerfully. What is there to add?” My posts don’t invite feedback (which in and of itself is a form of feedback, should I choose to see and read it). And I am reminded of 5 years ago when I was going through treatment (no, not everything reminds me of treatment, but when it does, I try to get it down on, well, keyboard). I guess I have a forceful personality, or so I have been told, although on certain days I can’t really see it. At any rate I have a clear personality, and when I have made up my mind I am a determined person and not too much gets in my way (except for, occasionally, myself). And apparently it can be hard to give me feedback or instruction, or direction (I have even heard that people can be afraid of me, can you imagine, little ol’ me? But that is another post).

I must tell you, that among my most powerful memories of cancer and treatment was a day that my friend Jen and I were sitting chatting. And I had, probably earlier that week at a Team Signy meeting, tried to impress upon my team/friends the fact that just because I sound clear, just because I know my mind, just because I contradict your suggestions, well, it doesn’t mean that I am right. And I want - in fact, I need - them to stand up to me, to be willing to say their perspective louder, to not stop at “I don’t think so” coming out of my mouth. Have an opinion, stick to it, see what happens. Well, Jen, being Jen did that in her own way. Who knows what we were talking about in general, but somewhere in there I suspect that I said that I was tired (this was during chemo and tired was standard fair, especially close to my nadir). I just said it in passing. But a few minutes later Jen got up, and ushered me into the other room. I got up, curious as to the point she wanted to make. Then, when we arrived in the bedroom, she walked up to the bed, pulled back the sheets pointed under the covers and said (with no wiggle room in her voice) “Get in”. At my quizzical look she said (again, just as decisively as before) “It is time for you to take a nap.” Oh my god, how great was that. So clear. And delivered with humour, the ultimate tool against and way to penetrate my ego certainty. Naturally, I got into bed and I slept, even with a guest there that I thought I ought to be entertaining. Even with the fun of a friend there that I wanted to hang out with. I love her different perspective, I love that she made me listen, I love that she questioned what I thought I knew. And I love the way she did it.

Please give me feedback, on this post and others. Your perspective adds to the mix, it changes the dynamics, it curls people’s toes. What else could be more important? And maybe you don’t have anything to say on/about my posts, fine, but go speak up where ever you do have an opinion and something to say. The world needs to hear it!

Living Our Values

Ok, I have gotten too excited and caught up discovering, deepening and living my values to remember/have time for/be able to focus long enough to blog. And yes, self-expression, and shape shifting are among my values, and blogging and writing have me meet those values too, but I must say, it sure is fun to have living my life take precedence over writing about it.

So how am I getting clarity on my values? The classic coaching stuff, looking at my peak experiences, my valley experiences, any values violation and my invisible values (if you want to know more just let me know, I can blog about it or we can chat off line); but here is what is different:

• I am clarifying them with a group of people - which creates accountability for me, as well as a place to talk through the findings
• I am using them in service of creating a vision
• I am focusing on “How will I know that I am living them?”

This shouldn’t be rocket science, but it is rocking my world. Not even rocking my world (that just sounded fun when I wrote it, rocket – rocking, it flowed), but just bringing me joy. Just the act of getting clear, really really clear, on what my values are brings joy into my life and my day. Hmmmm, self-awareness. The crack cocaine for new-age types.

Here is one thing that I firmly believe… if people truly knew themselves, and found places to fully express that safely, that would cut down on the instances of heart disease and cancer, the number of people on antidepressants, the amount of violence directed at children, and work stress and burnout, to name just a few. Full self-expression could save the world so much time and money, not to mention human lives. Hello. HELLO!!! What are we waiting for? Let’s get everyone on the fast track to learning about and living from our values; of knowing and actively expressing our gifts; of living on purpose! IT IS TIME!

Marijuana and Chemotherapy

I am going to make this simple……

Yes. Yes, YES, YES. Again… YES.

There is a good reason why, during that first, fateful, fitful chemotherapy session that the health care practitioners, hmmm, well, actually why the nurses (I suspect the doctors aren’t allowed to do the deed themselves due to legalities) ask you if you have considered using pot during this phase of your cancer treatment. That is because it works. It’s just that simple.

I inadvertently conducted a controlled (as controlled as I am capable of getting) experiment on this topic over the course of my 4 rounds of chemo. Because I was heading down to the US between my 3^rd and my 4^th rounds (something that I didn’t know would completely freak my doctors out until I actually got there – seems that the recycled air of planes can be a receptacle for all the bugs that can creep up on me and wreak havoc when my nadir is nigh) I was reticent to be smoking a whole bunch of dope. I am a bit inexperienced in the ways of all of this (in other words, don’t laugh your asses off at how naïve this is about to sound…), so I didn’t know if there would be some left over evidence of my foray into the illegal (well, in my case under these circumstances it is legal, bless the insight and compassion of the Canadian government for that, but since it is still illegal in the US, and I don’t know how they do their sniffing…), and since I really, really, really wanted to make this trip to my leadership program, I decided to not take the risk. And I spent the first 3 of my rounds of chemo with my new, ever-present friend, nausea. Not so fun. Not terrible either… chemotherapy is cumulative and so the effects build, the first time the nausea only lasted a couple days after the treatment, the second time I was up to 3 or 4 days, but by the time I got to my third round it was really getting uncomfortable for me (I am not great with nausea, plenty of things I can handle well, but nausea, not so much).

So you can imagine my great joy and relief when about a day after round 4, knowing that I had no threat of being turned back from the US border, I tried the sacred weed, and within half an hour the claw of nausea released my stomach. It was like a new lease on life. The relief was incredible (or maybe that was just the high speaking), but boy was it nice not to only be thinking about whether or not I could make it through the day without throwing up. I can’t even describe the peace. Which has me realize how much the nausea had gotten into my bones and really was running the show even when I thought I was doing ok and had it semi-handled. It is quite gross to have a constant reminder that you are in treatment for a devastating and life threatening illness (well, the hair loss kept it front and center too). There is no way to put the awareness of the attack on your life aside; to ignore it or pretend it is isn’t there for a day. At least after surgery there is a feeling of being done, and successful completion and an option to start “recovering”. This is a whole different beast. And really, any relief is a welcome friend. That night I got to bed easily and early too. Also not something I had known I was struggling with. And it would seem the effects of the pot are also cumulative, because over the next few days of treating myself to The Great Relief, things got easier faster. And maybe knowing that this was my last round and so I would get a chance to start “recovering” from this phase before I was plunged into the next great unknown helped ease things as well.

So I will say it again, if you are given the option, hell even if you are not, just say yes to drugs (well, the gentle, herbal ally sort of drug, akin to dandelion and burdock, during this extenuating circumstance – but you knew what I meant!).

Melatonin

Granted this is not actually a food, but it is something that you ingest, and so for the sake of to getting to write about good, healing things to put in your body, I am stretching the definition of “food” and including my friend Melatonin (this link takes you to Wikipedia, which gives you fairly information rich content).

Here is what is so great about Melatonin (this link takes to you to a site selling it, so a little more propaganda, but easier to get through). Not only is it all about boosting your immune system, can’t argue with the value of that, it also helps you sleep. Now that I think of it, probably a lot of people associate it more with the sleep aspect. You know, it is the stuff people take to recover more quickly from jetlag. But here is the thing, it increases your white blood cells, the killer cells, the ones that hunt down the bad guys and kick them the heck out of your body. I need me more friends like that! Remember that article about 8 months back about the harmful effects (especially and specifically around breast cancer) of too much artificial light. I am thinking there is a relationship. Getting a good night sleep, and getting enough melatonin, that is related, because melatonin is a natural substance secreted by the pineal gland when night falls. The more I read, the more I see the value of using it.

In fact, these little pills are so well considered that even though they were illegal at the time that I was going through chemotherapy many people recommended that I get them and take them during that wee while in my life so that when I hit my “nadir” (for those that aren’t up on the cancer speak that is when, post chemo infusion, that your white blood cells take a drastic and dangerous dip so low that the doctors worry that if you get an infection it may get all of you and take you down permanently) I will have some support to up my white blood cells and keep my immune system hopping (even if only on one leg). You can understand why I ran right out and got some.

Now here is when things went a little bit sideways. The average dose in a capsule seems to be 3 mg. I had someone recommend I try to take 20 mg a day (at night, by the way), so, for the first few nights, I merrily popped 6 of these suckers down my throat. What was so crazy though, was that I couldn’t sleep. I was wide-awake, eyes buggin’ out, couldn’t for the life of me get to sleep. I probably called my naturopath for help, like I do. And she said “Cut the dose, experiment until you find what is right for you.” Eventually I settled on 9mg, 3 capsules a night. That worked for me like a charm.

These days I take 1 capsule, 3 mgs. Not every night, but when I am struggling to get to sleep. And, mostly (right now excluded, because that cold did come and get me, but it is the first one I have had in a while, and I have been driving myself hard, so I sure should have had more) it works for me. And guess what, now a days it is not longer illegal (well, at least in Canada, not sure on the US status). And from what I can tell there are two brands out there (over the counter, in most drug stores), one is a capsule, the other is a melt under your tongue guy. I take mine 15 minutes before I go to bed. I have heard other reports, take them an hour or even two before bed. So again, find your own pattern, find what works for you, and then lie on back and get yourself a good nights rest!

Cold?

Ohhh, I am in one of those moments that gets me into trouble in a day or two. I have what appears to be a cold trying to tickle its way down into my throat. I can feel it right there. And here is where I do this not so great thing... where I try to push it. I try my luck, I think I can out maneuver it. I will take vitamin C, and echinacea and zinc. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But what I am doing by doing all that is trying to not have to do what I know I have to do. Get some sleep. Cancel whatever I have to cancel, change whatever I have to change, so that I can sleep in, or take a nap or go to be early, or better yet, all three. If I don't do this, chances are high that I will pay for it. But right now I feel smarter than my cold. Can you believe that? I feel smarter than my body. Man, what am I thinking??!?

Truth is that I should be going to be early right now. Like instead of typing I could be using my nimble fingers to wield my toothbrush. But I made a commitment to myself. Tonight I blog. Why? Because I have already formulated this great posting, about Melatonin, and the general benefits of it, and the great side effect of it boosting white blood cells and helping prevent things like... ah, colds. Because I blog every other day, and today is the day, and there is no room for exceptions. Exceptions are for those not disciplined enough, they are for the weak. Yikes. Whatever happened to "Exceptions R us"? Whatever happened to self care? Whatever happened to putting my health first, over image, over "shoulds", over good intentions or good ideas?

Well, here is what happened to it... Good night, I am going to bed now.

Jack Layton’s NDP takes a stand for the Environment, and against Cancer

Hallelujah, praise the Lord. While it is not unexpected for the NDP to be the party standing up against environmental toxins and pollutants, I am still excited to see how strongly they are expressing their views and coming out against it (check out how much space they are devoting on their main page), and the legacy language they are using.

Mr. Layton I couldn’t agree more! The sooner we clean things up the faster we will be saving money on health care costs, while keeping more people in jobs and in life and contributing to and participating in their communities. The care of our children needs to come first. The health of our nation needs to be a priority. Thank you for being a voice for that.

Blueberries

My first recollection of blueberries was this scratch and sniff book I had as a little girl. Clara the cat went around and sniffed different things, and the two that stand out in my memory are lilacs (and boy was it nice to get to roll around in those this last wee while in Ontario), and, you guessed it, blueberries, as it turns out in the form or blueberry pie (what could be better?).

Now I must have already known about blueberries, clearly this was not my introduction, because I picked up on it right away, and boy did I run with it. I read the book out loud to myself and audio taped it (I loved hearing my own voice, not a surprise to anyone who knows me) and then listened back, and the way I said blueberry pie was to die for. Or, in my case, to live for. Maybe this set the stage. I have always loved blueberries, put them in my granola and yogurt (another power food, by the way, even dairy avoider that I am suppose to be, I do make an exception for plain, organic yogurt), and now have frozen blueberries in my smoothies. It is safe to say, since I have developed my allergies to stone fruit (peaches, apricots, cherries, plums – a deep and desperate loss I might add), that blueberries are my favourite fruit (even one of my favourite foods).

So how happy was I to discover an amazing beverage, Bremner’s Pure Blueberry Juice. Now I have to agree with Dreena Burton, an amazing British Columbian Vegan Cookbook Author, when she reports that this juice is “Refreshing, not sickly sweet, and true blueberry flavour!” What more could a gal (or guy) want, well, I mean besides the pie part to go along with the blueberries.

And while it is a bit more expensive than other such juices (I guess blueberry juice in general is a bit pricey, then again it can’t be easy squeezing the juice out of those tiny little suckers, and boy it must take a lot of them for one jar), I find it worth the difference (I had my first experience of blueberry juice with a different brand and just about gave it up thinking “if this is what happens to blueberries when juiced, well, why bother?” – thank goodness the Bremner’s came on sale and I decided to give it another shot), and I too stock up when the sales are on. But even more to the point I think of it as a worthwhile investment. A handful of blueberries power packs me with free radical fighting anti-oxidants, and we all know (please tell me we all know!!?) that this helps prevent cancer. Good stuff! Drinking a veritable vat (well, considering the size of them, a glass to me is like a vat to them there blueberries) of them has got to do some good. Drinking that everyday has got to make up for drinking the bad stuff like coffee and booze, so bring it on I say. And how do I do that? My favourite ways: either straight up or in my power shake (one variation of it at the bottom of this post), to up the power quotient even more.

Give it a try.

Drain-O-Vac and Dandelion Root

When I came out of surgery on May 16th, 2001, I had this hideous little creature called a “Drain-O-Vac” hanging off my side attached to me by a little tube sucking the fluid out of my lymphatic reservoir, where they had removed 14 nodes. Just thinking of it sends me into the first stages of shock. I hated it and it hurt me. I didn’t know it at the time, but where the plastic tube-y part came out of my wound it did this little u turn thing, and there, right where my nerve endings were all confused from having been severed and put back together (well, placed back together, but they had yet to make up after such a damaging split), it rubbed up against me, day in and day out, causing me to call out for morphine (for my three days in hospital, when I still had that option, at any rate).

So here is this ghastly, pain-inducing contraption. And every 12 hours I (or, lets face it, those near and dear to me) had to empty it out and see how much fluid it has sucked out. Once the fluid output had dropped down to below 20 cc’s and had remained there for two or three “checks”, then I could have a nurse come in a remove the dreaded Drain-O-Vac. Oh joy. I couldn’t imagine that the removal was going to be any fun either. But still, this seemed a very worthy goal to pursue. So what does any sane person do? Call their naturopath. “What is my fastest way out?” I beseeched Glenda. Dandelion root, she answered without a moments thought. Well, mercy be, I already had some in my cupboard (have I previously mentioned that normal is not my MO, I mean not everyone has dried dandelion root handy in their cupboard). And so my concoction was born. And work it did! My next reading I saw a drop from 30 cc’s to 15 cc’s. I called the nurse, hoping for early release. She told me to see if it held. Twelve hours later, I was at 5 cc’s. The nurse was over within the hour. Goodbye Drain-O-Vac!

Hello my new friend Dandelion Root. I quickly developed a renewed respect for this underrated herbal ally. I mean, when something is reputed to sooth and support the liver during the distress of chemotherapy (among other things), eliminate free radicals, create a potassium-rich anti-cancer environment, relieve chronic constipation (a challenge during chemotherapy), reduce hypoglycemia (that has nothing to do with cancer, just one of the many other great things Dandelion Root does), and, as I can personally attest to, balance and regulate the lymphatic system, how can you walk away and ignore this character. If you do, you do so at your own peril. Now most of what I know about Dandelion I have learned through a book called Healing Wise by Susan Weed (yes, that truly is her last name, sometimes we just know what our calling in life is), where she doesn’t just give you some good facts, she also weaves in some entertainment and fun. Gotta love that. I totally recommend it.

So now you are enrolled, yes? But what do you do? Well the way I use it is to put about a teaspoon full into about two cups of boiling water. Then I continue to boil the crap out of it for about an hour or so, or until the water has been reduced to about a cup. Then I drink it. Yummy. Actually I am not being cheeky here; it really is fairly yummy, kind of rich and sweet and nutty. I tend to combine it with Burdock Root, which no doubt I will go into more depth about shortly. I love knowing that each sip is healing me and helping me to gently and naturally heal my body. It doesn’t get any better than that on the food as medicine, medicine as food front.

One last thing to say about Dandelion, although it really had nothing to do with the good old-fashioned medicinal value of it. But just writing this down has me remember… I used to use the Dandelion as my cancer analogy, when I needed people to better understand the treatment regimes. Here is how I spun it: the Dandelion plant and flower that you see is like the cancerous tumour itself. Surgery is like cutting it away, leveling it, removing the “weed”. Then radiation is like taking a long trowel and digging deep into the soil and removing the root that will re-grow the “weed” if left unattended. Finally chemotherapy is like blasting the whole field that you found the Dandelion in with herbicide. Kill everything, so that none of those pesky little white Dandelion fluffs could go somewhere else in the system and start a new growth. A simple way to explain the basics, so that people can focus on loving the patient instead of trying to understand the complicated details of treatment. See, one more way that the Dandelion is our good and useful friend!