Processed Cheese

Ok, so I am over at my man’s house yesterday, he had made me and some of his friends dinner (can you see the smile on my face!). I had come later owing to this and that other commitment, so I didn’t get to see what they ate, but something in the conversation had me think it was different than what I ate. He made me this awesome fish (can you say spoilt… well not only can I say it, and spell it, I am pretty darn good at enjoying it – and, yes, this was the first time he was making me dinner and, it’s true, I was quite impressed). Then, about ¾ of the way through my meal, I spied something with my little eye on the corner of the dining room table. It was a pasty, pastel orange colour, square-ish, stacked up, wrapped in plastic. Oh my god, it hit me. It is fake cheese. It is that individually wrapped faux-fromage (this is where I wish I had audio capacity, and then I would play that scary “wree, wree, wree, wree” sound from horror movies). After I got over my shock, a certain eerie panic set in. Wait, if he has that on the corner of his table, he must have it in his fridge, and he must have been feeding it to his friends. This is not good. Clearly it is time for the re-training to begin.

There is not room for processed cheese in my fridge or my life. End of story. No discussion. No debate. In fact, no brainer. Cheese, in and of itself, is supposed to be on my no-no list (but it has been harder for me to give up than sugar, go figure). Here is my compromise, I don’t buy cheese. Now, if it happens to be at the places I visit, well, that is beyond my control, but my home needs to be a cheese free zone. And because I am all about education around cancer and diet and health, I will take the opportunity to pontificate just a bit … here is why cheese is bad for me (and possibly you)…most cows have been treated with a bunch of hormones, most notable among those being Bovine Growth Hormone. And not only is it encouraging extra growth, you know, above and beyond what would be normal growth for them (please tell me how growth above and beyond normal is different from cancer), it is probably (I ought not be quoted on this though, as I have not done the research, but am just assuming and extrapolating) being excreted in the milk. Think about that, your dairy products are full of this (and others, I’m afraid) icky stuff. Yuck. So there is that. And there is also the fact that cancer, at least breast cancer, is more prevalent in overweight people. Well you can’t tell me that over consumption of dairy doesn’t lend itself to becoming overweight. Then there is the thing about dairy being a reproductive fluid (doesn’t that suddenly make your Brie sound a whole lot less appealing). My cancer was of a reproductive organ. Now I don’t know if there are studies, but just intuitively, there is something about that that say “Don’t do it”. Laying off the dairy just plain makes sense. The only exception to that is yogurt, since it is such a superfood, with all that acidophilus, but even then, organic, fat-free, not sugar sweetened are all-important.

So, now, suddenly it occurs to me, maybe having faux cheese in the fridge is a way for me to not have to be tempted (because really, tempted by faux cheese, that will never happen), but for him to have his, er, cake and eat it too. Ahh, the joys of relationships and learning how to compromise.

Love, Love, Love

So here is how things went down in my absence… I was suppose to go away, far, far away, and hang out of trees by ropes, risking life and limb, and dive into the heart of my heart, and discovery things I never knew about myself. What I did instead… was realize that I have taken on too much (dare I say it, again), and opted out of what would be a fabulous experience in order to do the self care that I needed to do. To nurture myself. To talk to my aunt at my leisure (not to mention put together a care package for her which consisted of Sally Errey’s Staying Alive Cookbook, Bernie Siegel’s book Love, Medicine and Miracles, on having the right attitude during cancer treatment, a Quan Yin Goddess figurine, for compassion, and a bracelet of amethysts, so she can carry the thoughts and love of all her friends and family with her). To get caught up to my thoughts. And to opt out of the details of life that can get in the way of Life (sorry to report that blogging was one of those). It was the right thing to do. It left me feeling rejuvenated and refreshed.

Here is what else I did. I seem to have embarked on a new relationship. Whoa! How did that happen? When did that happen? Doesn’t the goddess understand that this is a very inconvenient time? Not to mention an astrologically hexed time? Well never mind. Seems that this is how I am meant to risk life and limb, and dive into the heart of my heart, and discover things I never knew about myself (thank goodness no tree dangling though). Love is love, and the heart is the heart, can’t be controlled (or so I am re-learning). And frankly there is probably nothing better for the heavy or dark heart to bring peace and joy. I might even go so far as to recommend it as part of cancer treatment, because that love buzz sure is fun, and there is nothing more life affirming and exciting. In fact, I do remember starting a new relationship during my radiation treatment, and boy, now that I think of it, radiation was easier in some ways than the other treatment, and perhaps that was why. And yes, I am being a bit whimsical here, but what is the way we can bring more love into cancer treatment? Is it making sure the person feels the love of family and friends? Is it having some excitement in their lives, and reason to hang on and keep fighting? Is it getting more touch and affection (because boy is that healing!!!)? I don’t know the answer, but I know the question is worth pondering!

Speaking of love, here is the update on my aunt (who I spoke to this morning at length, and she sounds in good spirits): they are still trying to figure out what is what. They are now calling into question the type of cancer it is, and when they had previously thought that chemo wasn’t necessary, they are reconsidering (in other words, if it is this other cancer, then chemo is a good thing/idea). And she is having other funny squeaks and aches and pains and problems. So the medical exploration is continuing (good thing she is reading Bernie’s work and being the squeaky wheel that demands what she needs!!). Tomorrow – August 17^th, at 1:30pm Eastern Time, she is having a CAT scan at the local hospital. All and any prayers would be welcome. And thank you for your ongoing support.