Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Mammogram Fun

Oxymoron, yes? Or at the very least a juxtoposition.

But that is what I have to do, create some kind of positive response, some kind of positive feeling, or just something, knowing that at least once a year, every year for the rest of my life I will have one of these babies. And for the most part I like to try to have my mammogram around this time of the year (I like to coordinate it to my anniversary clean date, because then I am more willing to go and more clearly see the importance).

So here I am, mentally preparing myself for tomorrow's session with the boob doctors. Take lots of advil, at least 1.5 hours ahead of time, but keep in mind that they might be delayed, so don't take it too early, don't want the effects to wear off. Don't wear any deodorant, it messes with the fine instruments ability to read (is that the aluminum, getting in the way?), but know that I will sweat more than usual that day, with the fear of all the flashbacks, so the sweat will have that alarm soaked smell, acidic and high pitched. And wear a top that is easy to take off and put on, or at the very least don't wear a one piece, or I will be wandering around the hospital naked (again). So much to think about, too bad all that brain activity can't obscure the anxious thoughts that always proceed this event.

Lucky for me though that I get to do all this at Cancer World, instead of X-Ray 505. So instead of grumpy overworked technicians, and long waiting lines even if you are on time and being just a number, I get the hot experts, the newest equipment, with the latest technology, able to take as long as a need and want, since there is no one else in line, to ask questions and have my little freakouts without getting the eyerolls to encourage my speeding up the process. Even if the equipment still hurts as much and squeezes as hard, at least I get to do it my own way. I guess I have paid my dues and this is the extra care I get, just to be safe. I will take what I can get.

And following my new tradition, I will come up with something fun and exciting, something, some kind of reward to give myself after my experience. Probably kitchen gadgets, as in the past, just because they make me happy (even if I barely have time to use them).

Here is the slightly exciting news. They (you know, them) are starting to dabble in some new technologies to test for breast cancer, ones that are less aggressive, less harsh, less mean. Using heat to identify abnormal activity in the breast tissue. So yay, can't wait until that is common practise and I can just come in for a spa instead of a squeeze, but until then... it's mammogram time.

Wish me luck.


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