Monday, October 29, 2007


So the other day I was sitting at Caper's with my newest CTI co-leader Bill. We were talking about various things, some related to the workshop we were leading, some just life. And suddenly, quite out of the blue, he said "What you went through, and how you behaved around it, and chose to see it, well, I think that was heroic." Instead of flipping to my usual, "Oh thank you, that is so kind" I actually stopped in my tracks, dead in my tracks, which doesn't happen to me all that often. His comment really made me pause and think.

You see to me, it wasn't heroic, it was just what I had to do. I think of a heroic act as being something that takes courage, and you choose, intensionally, and commit to, and take a stand on an issue. Me? I was just scared, fighting for my life, doing what ever I could, making decisions from how I felt in each moment. Didn't feel like courage. Didn't feel intensional or conscious. It wasn't something I committed to, it was something I was running from. Running scared. It wasn't a heroic act, it was a necessary act.

But after he said it I stopped and got to see it from that different perspective (how perfect, since we were leading Balance). He spoke of how people he had loved died of cancer, of how the fight can be long and hard and grueling, and can break your spirit long before it breaks your body. It is a bit insidious and even cunning. And I came to see that while I did just do what was before me, and I did just do what was necessary, I also did make decisions from the mind and the instinct of a hero. As best outlined in Joseph Campbell's view and work. The reticent hero, who goes because there is no other choice. Who doesn't know s/he is courageous, but starts with a tentative, tremulous opinion and sticks to it, and grows stronger in it the more opposition s/he is faced with. I chose to fight instead of give in (please note the difference between giving in and surrender). I chose to remain as awake as I could at every turn. I chose to live as fully as I could through out the process. And I chose to engage my community and friends, creating allies in the fight(a classic and important part of the Hero's Journey).

Bill's off hand comment helped me see, again, that heros aren't born that way, they are made. They choose, and take a stand, and do their best, and hope it turns out well. The are scared and do it anyway. And maybe some days they don't, but when it really counts, they find the courage, some where, and they just do what has to be done.

I write all this not to pat myself on the back (although I think we all know I am not adverse to doing just that), but rather to acknowledge those people who are fighting the fight right now. To our aunts, or our mothers or fathers, to our friends or our children. Cancer feels like a choice-less situation. But no matter how hard it is, how hard the diagnosis, how hard the treatment, how hard the day, there is always one choice you can make. And that is how you will live this one day, this one precious day.


At 12:51 PM PST, Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=]new thomas sabo[/url] I've kinda gone off double dipping for several reasons, but of all the Clamp titles, MKR is among my faves and a re-do like the Clover omnibus would be worth it.. [url=]unique prom dresses[/url]
[url=]dress outlet shop[/url] gikcyxqe Manchester's "A World Lit Only By Fire" is done differently. kunasgef [url=]mulberry handbags uk[/url]

At 9:20 AM PST, Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=]prom dresses cheap online[/url] The government of Canada intends to maintain high immigration levels in the future. [url=]thomas sabo uk[/url]
[url=]vintage wedding dress[/url] kavcjtlo There are several RV parks in Ensenada and making a reservation before you leave is advisable. kvlceaev [url=]mulberry sale uk[/url]

At 9:04 AM PST, Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=]thomas sabo jewellery[/url] "I'm sitting here in the middle of nowhere, remote yet lose because of your wonderful CD set "Open the Gates". [url=]new thomas sabo[/url] qrpfqgtg But remember - octopi may lose limbs while hunting and may have less than eight, so this method of identification is not always foolproof. llxllfkx [url=]mulberry alexa bag[/url]

At 5:18 AM PST, Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=]modest formal dresses[/url] It said he also helped to create documents falsely suggesting that Antonucci had earned $6.5 million through one of his companies so that bank would be on firmer financial footing and qualify for $11 million from TARP.. [url=]vintage bridesmaid dresses[/url]
[url=]christian louboutin uk[/url] iqormaoq The term also refers to the act of obtaining bribes, as well as to the crime of a prostitute who offers sexual of an offer to buy, any securities.. advmyqgz [url=]mulberry mitzy bags[/url]

At 4:43 AM PST, Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=]vintage formal dresses[/url] Putting on Pandora bracelets uk will provide you with the customized feel along with each distinctive style. [url=]plus size bridesmaid dresses[/url]
[url=]vintage wedding dress[/url] coiptxio Therefore, I am currently enlightening and encouraging them to share this information. enjfiopl [url=]mulberry handbags uk[/url]

At 3:27 PM PST, Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=]prom dresses cheap online[/url] The idea of war-wagons of whatever sort remained dormant until the late nineteenth century, and the advent of the Internal Combustion Engine. [url=]black prom dresses[/url]
[url=][/url] nntyypoq CLS's core business is translation, writing and editing in the areas of banking and finance, insurance and life sciences as well as for the legal industry, industrial sector and governmental institutions. spemtnoj

At 8:37 AM PST, Anonymous Anonymous said... Lots of retail stores do this. [url=]cheap bridesmaid dresses[/url]
[url=]wedding dress online sale[/url] lgeqbbzt But much of the second half has been positive. owtpqisd [url=]mulberry mitzy bags[/url]

At 1:45 AM PST, Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=]cheap formal gowns[/url] This is because of many added benefits that they will step out of your funding as well as the managerial know-how of which venture capital angel investors supply these products. [url=]vintage prom dresses uk[/url]
[url=]lace wedding dress[/url] kruwwqlw Legionnaire's bacteria are found in virtually every buildings water supply. zeeeqetg [url=]mulberry mitzy bags[/url]

At 7:16 PM PST, Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=]prom dress under 100[/url] We need to look at both sides of the equation as well as the advances in technology that have occurred and are yet to occur out of necessity. [url=]plus size formal gowns[/url]
[url=]homecoming dress stores[/url] uwfmzzhb So what you are basically doing is putting out an invitation saying "HEY EVERYONE!!! Look at my ASS!" And any lady who did that I would consider a tramp. ubtaxftz [url=]mulberry handbags uk[/url]

At 1:50 PM PST, Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=]1discount formal dresses[/url] In total (50+) species were recorded for the day. [url=]cheap formal dresses[/url]
[url=]wedding dress cheap[/url] ubpafxvf Storm Hymnal - Gems from the Vault of Grant Lee Buffalo (2001)A strange combination of a greatest 'hits' album and b-sides and rareties, Storm Hymnal is a good introduction to Grant Lee Buffalo, though it's debatable whether it's better just to buy Jubilee or Mighty Joe Moon and be done with it (especially as Storm Hymnal is currently only available in Europe, not the USA). xfmapnsu [url=]mulberry uk[/url]

At 1:37 PM PDT, Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=]vintage formal dresses[/url] This October flesh-eating corpses could be shambling the streets of a city near you. [url=]junior bridesmaid dresses[/url]
[url=]christian louboutin[/url] esdikmso We brought a lot of their wounded back to English hospitals on on our LST ( Coast Guard LST 27 ). eearzyci [url=]mulberry shoulder bags sale[/url]

At 12:05 PM PDT, Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=]prom dresses on sale online[/url] (When he said the word "Bingo", the bird made a very distressed sound - it knows the word.). [url=]white prom dresses[/url] wggkigfm In theory, this again sounds good until we understand that this has only been undertaken to date on a conceptual level in a laboratory in ideal conditions. jvizupmj [url=]mulberry purse sale[/url]

At 7:53 AM PDT, Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=]party dresses for girls[/url] I am looking for snailmailpals over whole world. [url=]prom dress uk[/url]
[url=][/url] ilqvfxfr New car dealers should be selected carefully, because there is no point in paying more for an alarm whose value is acceptable. rafhxemx [url=]prom dresses on sale[/url]

At 11:42 PM PDT, Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=]vestidos de novia 2013[/url] I wouldn't be surprised if some online stores did this. [url=]prom dresses online[/url]
[url=]lace wedding dress[/url] mldsmefk Sandler is rated by Entrepreneur Magazine the as the #1 sales and sales management firm in America.. uwfvaujy [url=]long prom dresses[/url]

At 12:19 PM PDT, Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=]vestidos de novia[/url] With the shirt, you will need a tie that does one of the following: Matches your breeches and/or the braids of your horse. [url=]prom dress uk[/url] hoejgdfx Wherever you choose to rent house in Gurgaon remember that the better the location, the higher will be the rent. zfjgrsge [url=]prom dresses on sale[/url]


Post a Comment

<< Home