Newest Version of Self Care

So, wow, I sure have been submerged in my life right this past little while. In that place where everything is about getting to know a new person. And it has been fabulous, all that it should be. And now, as we move into what we have jokingly referring to as Phase 2, well it is time to come up for air… gasp. And do a bit of breathing, and bit of remembering who I am, just on my own. You know, good old self-care. Which in this case looks like some alone time, to do… well, whatever I want, with no one else around (and I am pretty excited to notice that what I WANT to do it write/blog, so yay!).

And yes, it has been a little while, as I have mentioned. So here I am. And what is great is that after years, and I do mean years, of my own personal work and self-actualization and all that other good stuff, well, I really notice when I start to go off the rails and I know what it is that I need to do about it (which was something I didn’t used to know, instead I just knew something was off, but didn’t know what to do about it, or how to go about doing that). Now it is different. Now I recognize that need, know what I long for, and ask for what I need and want. Sounds simple. Didn’t used to be that easy. And actually, in a new relationship, well it is it’s own new adventure. Fortunately my guy loves direct forthrightness as much as I do, perhaps even more. Does it get any better than that, someone who likes what you like, who doesn’t just appreciate you for being you, but actually celebrates it, eats it up and comes back for more. Be still my beating heart. I mean is there anything sexier?

Anyway, back to topic. Self-care and the constant changing face of what it is depending on where we find ourselves. I mean here I am, new situation, and guess what, the old ways don’t work. I need to get current, get fresh and see what it is that I need NOW. I love this part (didn’t use to, used to just want one easy formula, that I could apply anytime), this listening in to myself, to my heart and intuition and asking myself… what is important right now? What is the priority? And how do I ask for that in a way that enrolls others to want to participate?

And how is all this relevant to health and cancer and such? Well, my aunt continues to struggle through her own journey (and would certainly continue to appreciate any prayers). And as part of that needs to keep looking in, or around, or wherever, to discover her own answers, her own questions, and her own thoughts. Not so easy with her journey. Boy, I had no idea how complicated getting diagnosed could be. My situation was so simple, breast cancer, so clear. But here she is, a few months in, and they are not so sure what she is dealing with yet. Different specialists are looking, evaluating, weighing in, and in the mean time she has to WAIT. And then wait some more.

In a chat I had with her just this past week we talked about what some of the self-care might look like. Turns out what was most important was contacting people who are in a support group for the type of cancer the doctors think my aunt might have, and asking the support group folks what are the best questions to be asking doctors and specialists when my aunt does have appointments with them (it is so darn hard to get back to them with follow up questions that is seems best to have done a stack of research ahead of time, complete with good questions), as well as to get a handheld tape recorder that she can use to tape her conversations with them so she can go back and review the discussions later. Sounds good to me. There are other things that I am sure need doing, but this is the starting place, the most urgent things. I am so proud of her for all that she is doing to fight this, from evaluating her attitude, to changing how she lives, to drinking in every piece of info she can, to looking at what the self-care is that she needs to do each day. Good for her. And here is my contribution. If you could keep those good vibe thoughts and prayers coming her way, well that would be just swell. Turns out my self-care can include caring for those around me, those I love. Thank you and God bless!