Thursday, February 23, 2006

Sent home again - the final countdown

Well, the final countdown is on, and yes, I have been sent home again. Makes sense really. Part of my job involves counselling students, guiding them to discover what might be a good career fit for them. That involves being a relatively neutral influence, reflecting back their interests and other things they talk about. Well, lets face it, recently, every science student that walks through the door, I am TELLING them (not very counsel-y, not very coach-y) that they should go and discover the cure for cancer. Yeah, it was time for me to go home.

So now I need to occupy my mind, in good ways, for the next few hours, until the first shift of “distraction” arrives. This is tricky. The only things left to do right now are surgery related. Get my T3s and Xanax prescription filled. Buy good “recovery food”. Hydrate myself (so my veins are fat and juicy). So you got it, I am blogging my time away.

Tragically, I am presently pre-menstrual, leaving me wildly emotional and with very tender breasts. Can you say Mammogram and Very Tender Breasts 10 times fast with gritted teeth? I sure can, and expect to say it even more than that (but maybe slow, with all that sedation), with either fits of anger or spurts of tears. But I am sure I will get over that. All the love that has been flowing in today (and I am sure, tomorrow) has me choosing gratitude over the many other things I could be thinking about.

All my workmates were so lovely today. Giving me flowers, but not just any flower, instead ones with meaning, about hope for the future. And scarves the represent virtual hugs. What a great place I work in. And all the calls and prayers and poems and flowers I have gotten. The distractions, the laughter. Thank you all for your love. It is HUGE. And appreciated. And now, the vigil begins. A more intense form of waiting. Nothing left to DO. Just being. Being with myself. Being with the Goddess. Cultivating trust and gratitude. Leaning into faith and courage and grace. One friend reminded me: Signy, you are all about miracles and magic, just hold the space. She is another of today’s birthday gals. So blessing on all of you for the blessings you have sent me. 24 hours from now, it will all look different.


At 9:30 AM PST, Anonymous Merlot4u said...


It is now Friday and I hope that my prayers have been felt and judging by the outpouring of prayer your space is being held by many who care for you.

So the story goes that laugther is the best medicine. Here is a small ditty to put smile on your face (the endorphins will kick the crap out of those sickly cells).

A guy gets on an airplane and finds his seat assignment is next to a beautiful woman. She is reading a book titled "Sexual Statistics".

"That's a very interesting book", he says.

"Yes", she replies. "Did you know that American Indians have the longest organs in the world, and the Polish have the biggest circumference? By the way, my name is Linda Stone."

"Pleased to meet you", he says. "My name is Tonto Kowalski".

Nope, not looking to join the comedy network, but just reaching out to say, I am thinking of you.

Steve (from cowtown - since everyone else is using that handle)



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