Waiting

There is a ton of waiting involved in this medical dance. Waiting for surgery, waiting for results, waiting to talk to doctors, etc. And unfortunately, I HATE waiting. Hate it with a passion. Intense passion. I won’t wait in lines, won’t wait patiently in traffic jams. I would rather be late, rather miss an appointment, rather chew through my own arm than have to wait. I traveled through New Zealand with a friend some number of years ago now, and we used to laugh at ourselves, because she couldn’t stand rain (which I am quite ok with) and I couldn’t stand waiting (which she asserts she doesn’t mind a whit) and the number of hours we spent waiting, in the rain was comical. And probably doubly comical for her watching my face turn a great number of shades of red and purple with sheer fury. So what an exciting lesson is this!?!?

So a couple of thoughts sprout off from this branch of the tree.

How do we become ok with the things we hate? Do you just sit in it long enough until you’re good and sick of it and stop doing it? Seems a little simple (or is it just that I like my life complex?). At the Coaches Training Institute, in one of the courses I teach, we take a look at “What is the thing you can’t be with?” and really open up a space to explore how it holds us back, what it is costing us, what it gives us, and letting ourselves deeply feel into whatever is there. There seems a bit of a metamorphosis, a magic that happens when we stay down at the bottom of the cold, dark well with our crap for long enough. There is something about the “for long enough” part of it though. It is too easy to touch it lightly and run triumphant, declaring the deed done. Instead really being there until IT is done, not until when we conceive it should be done. This takes a lot of courage. And often reveals something different than what we expected. Perhaps it is time for me to enter “waiting” into my front-runners for the next exploration.

How do we pass the time, the time of waiting for the thing we want, or the thing we don’t want as in my case here? How to we engage our minds; keep ourselves occupied. Some go the “think good thoughts” route (picture the best possible outcome), some the other end of the continuum (What’s the worst thing that could happen, so anything less is good news). Body type that I am, I tend to engage my mind by engaging my body (this is not to say that I distract myself by having wild and crazy sex, although that might not be a bad idea). You have already heard the not so useful ways, getting busy, DOING until I explode, dashing from one activity to another. So what ways work well for me? Exercise. Stretching. Yoga. Breathing. Getting aggression and anger OUT. Dancing. Laughing. Movement or the opposite of that with sitting very, very still, but doing so consciously.

What works for you?