Coming Up to FIVE Years!!!!

Head’s Up.

May 16, 2006 is my 5^th birthday of being cancer free. This is a big, fat, hairy, audacious deal!!!! As of that day I will re-join the ranks of “normal” (in as much as is possible, given the circumstances of who I am at the core). Which means what? That I am back down to the likelihood of my getting breast cancer being only one in nine (odds that I am both excited and not excited about, if you know what I mean).

I wanted to post a note ahead of time that so that you could celebrate with me should you so choose. Because here is the thing, I am not just celebrating for me. I am celebrating for all the other people who make it to a big benchmark. And I am honouring all the people that don’t. And I am celebrating and honouring all the people that made it possible that I am here, alive today. The men and women who put their all into supporting me and loving me and reminding me of all the good reasons to go through all the nasty things I had to go through. The people that fed me, that cleaned me, that made me laugh, that flew out to be with me, that stayed home to be with me, that lessen the pain, that sat with me in the pain and didn’t try to lessen it, that let me vent, that pointed me to options, that took me to treatments, that prayed for my good health and peaceful state of mind, that sent me cards and letters and love, that cheered me from the sidelines, that participated in the fray, that fought off crazy health care providers, that stood up for me, that encouraged me to stand up for myself, that held me big, that let me be small, that got me up trees, that took me through rituals, that shaved my head, that painted my toes, that rubbed my bald scalp, that cleaned my apartment, that laughed at my jokes, that read my emails, that cried with me, that took me to appointments, that made fun of the doctors, that encouraged my wild authenticity, that danced with me. Clearly the list is endless. As is my gratitude and my excitement!

So, Whoo Freakin’ Hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!! For you, all of you. For me (all of me). For staying alive. For being alive. For life. I can’t tell whether my body wants to laugh or cry. Gratitude is funny that way. Thank you, thank you, thank you. For all of you. Being in my life. You make all the difference!